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Writer's pictureAndy Parker

"The Godly Troublemaker"

Updated: Dec 15, 2023

Welcome To The Godly Troublemaker Podcast



Introduction

My name’s Andy and welcome to my podcast. So here I am, throwing my hat in ring, or

perhaps, if you will, seeking to sift out the 300 to storm the Midianite camp to slaughter them. But there I go, already using triggering words.

Perhaps it would be apropos in our progressive day and age (perhaps even more winsome) to say that we’re going to travel merrily down the yellow brick road together with our junk neatly tucked in our brand new one piece swimsuits all the way to the wizards house…


So, here we go. We’re off to see the Wizard…Why? Because, because, because, because,

because of the wonderful things he does. As we sing and dance our way down this yellow

stained road making our way to the Emerald City…we can’t help but joyfully share stories of our wonderful wizard and the wonderful things he does.


We share tales of how the wizard has wonderfully cared for our children by educating them so that we could live our best lives now. Tales of how he protects us and provides for us in retirement. Tales of how he recently saved us from the most-deadly virus in human history…Tales of how he controls climate and spreads good tidings of great joy through diversity, inclusion, and hormone blockers. Tales of how this wizard can even control reality which is good because it’s such a moving target these days…


As we arrive at Babel, I mean the Emerald City…the first thing we notice (besides the flying monkeys and the smell in the air) is that the luster is gone…as we reach the end of the tether, I mean the road, we see that the Emerald City looks more like an empire of dirt…and though, we don’t want to discriminate against the geographically unsettleds ability to defecate in public we can’t help but notice it all over our shoes.


But here we are…we’ve traveled all this way…might as well beseech the wizard for his divine counsel…but as we’re given an audience with the great and powerful Oz…we made the mistake of peering behind the curtain and noticed an angry, short, chubby, purple haired lesbian named Becky (it’s a reboot after all).


And all this brings us back to the beginning…or the ring, or the arena…with all of it’s triggering language of battles and warfare…and mud and blood and sweet and bones…and I haven’t even used the word patriarchy yet.


This brings us to the very heart of the Godly Troublemaker…we not only want to give

instruction in sound doctrine, but also rebuke those who contradict it (Titus 1:9). We want to exalt Christ in every sphere of life and demolish strongholds and every lofty opinion that stands opposed to Him (2 Corinthians 10:5). Which means we’re guaranteed to piss off snowflakes and Big Eva on a weekly basis, but I repeat myself.


In our culture, which has absolutely no problem exposing itself…we want to go one step further and remove the curtain completely…exposing all the Becky’s of our day, but there I go, already talking about feminism and public education.


And our desire is not to simply expose the idols of our day but to chop them down. As a dear brother in Christ recently said regarding Thor’s oak– Chop, Chop…Given that there are many men already engaged in said choppery and pissery…is it really necessary to have one more voice in the space? Obviously my answer is yes! The secularist have been planting oaks for decades and If I can play a part in chopping some of them down count me in. By the grace of God, we’ll chop them all down and have a great big refining fire warming ourselves on the ash heap of pagan and secular idolatry.


Some may hear all of this talk of conflict and opposition and said choppery and pissery and start to find themselves getting a little uncomfortable…perhaps even irritated…maybe even provoked. They may be tempted to say something along the lines of: “you’re not being very winsome” or “you’re going to hurt to witness.” In response to them, I would simply quote the words of C. S. Lewis and say,

“Don’t talk damn nonsense.”

The Godly Troublemaker

I am fully aware that using a term like Godly Troublemaker is enough to the knickers to rise all the way the up an evangellyfish’s LGBTQ2+ hole…


One may protest, “that doesn’t sound very winsome”…or, “you’re just trying to be a

provocateur” using such provocative language to provoke people to provocation…and, “isn’t this in direct violation of the 11 th commandment?”…with the incendiary conclusion, “and, all this coming from a pastor!”…(insert huff & puff).


What this has to do with the 11th commandment I know not what, however, regarding the evangelical women of both sexes that would protest to said Godly Troublemaking…I would like to point out clearly, emphatically, unapologetically and once-for-all…from this day forth and forevermore that their problem is not with the word “troublemaker” but with the word “Godly."


These evangellyfish are like an embarrassingly large turd that has breached the surface for far too long…and now the stink is filling the entirety of the country.

“You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James 4:4

In the name of “winsomeness” (which, just f.y.i., is a unbiblical category made up by cowards who need a justification for their complacency)…they’ve stretched the backdoor wide open (pun intended) to feminism, statism and every form of sexual depravity…(how dare I comment on such things…I’m not even a biologist or a proctologist…)


Their desperate, incessant desire to be liked by the cool kids has caused most to compromise, if not outright abandon the sharp two-edged sword of God’s word exchanging it for a nerf sword that the world likes better. Like an unruly, stiffnecked woman who tells her husband he is a good leader when he leads the way she wants him too…Evangelicals have allowed the world to tell them what is, and is not winsome…the tragic irony is, after removing pillar and buttress they can’t figure out why, the culture that they’ve help to create, is crumbling around them.


Instead of repentance, they would rather gaze upon the Emperor’s beautiful new

attire…regardless of whether or not his junk is eyelevel with your kids (but there I go, talking about Disney and government schools again)…and how dare you point that out…you’re never going to win the emperor that way, you bigoted racist while being racistly bigoted…


So then, the evangelical world has no problem whatsoever with trouble or troublemaking as long as it’s the popular kind that hates God. But when it comes to the kind in the Bible…you know, the Godly kind…you know the kind that actually loves God’s law/word…they freak out…weeping, wailing, gnashing of teeth and the like, all-the-while declaring that not all “Christians” think that way…and that there are obviously much nicer ones who don’t believe the Bible and Jesus…and all that stuff.


All this to say, the problem isn’t only with Thor’s oak. The problem is that Thor’s oak is

growing right up through the poop shoot of evangelicalism and straight out of the top of a

renovated mini-mall with a neon sign out front with an edgy name like, Ignite.


So yeah, I intend to create a whole heap of trouble…lots of it…you know, the kind of trouble that wasn’t trouble two-years…the kind of trouble that says boys have a penis and girls have a vagina…and if that sounds radical it’s probably because you have a vagina behaving like penis.


Now, there may be some that will cry fowl, and cry like Becky the day after the 2016

election…but again, I would remind you that they have no problem with penis and vagina

talk…they just have a problem with it in right order and the right context – like in the Bible and not in the government schools and the first grade…(but hey, keep going to your school board meetings – I’m sure that will end well).


So yeah, trouble is what we seek and contra mundum is our cry…but it must be clearly stated that we don’t desire trouble for troubles sake…nor are we creating trouble at all…we are simply exposing the trouble that already exists…Trouble with the Lord and with His Anointed.


Wherever the gospel of Jesus Christ is faithfully preached and the servant of Jesus faithfully declares that it all belongs to Jesus…that He is Lord and no one and nothing else is you are going to have trouble…

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Our troublemaking is a Godly Troublemaking. The kind that believes the promise of God and names his wife Eve…The kind of trouble that takes 100 years to build an ark in the middle of dry land. The kind of trouble that believes God and it’s credited to him as righteousness.


The kind trouble that flees Egypt and conquers Canaan. The kind of trouble that kills a thousand Philistines with the Jawbone of an ass and bad attitude. The kind of trouble that stands before giants…and taunts them and then cuts off their heads. The kind of trouble that builds up kingdoms and the kind of trouble that refuses to bow down before idols.


That kind of trouble that repents of sin and confesses Jesus as Lord of all. That kind of trouble that thinks generationally and has an optimistic eschatology. The kind of trouble that offers the nations the terms of surrender: repent and believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Serve the Lord with fear and rejoice with trembling.


The kind of trouble that says, bring on your best. The advance of the gospel can’t be

stopped…the more the world rages the more we advance…the more they kill the more we

multiple. So courage dear heart. The future is Christian.


This kind of troublemaking is not of the scorched earth variety, but is of the variety of the Refiners fire. This kind of trouble making not only tears down, it also plants, cultivates and builds. We’re not merely engaged in deforestation…we’re planting oaks of our own that will last to a thousand generations and the soil these oaks are growing in is covenant renewal worship.

Conclusion

“Jesus promised His disciples three things – that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy and in constant trouble.” G. K. Chesterton

We plan on putting forth a varsity level effort in receiving the promises of God…to be completely fearless, absurdly happy and in constant trouble. And If my little foray into podcasting, blogging, vlogging doesn’t work…I can always fall back on a side hustle of sharing pictures of my butt on Instagram. I hear that’s profitable these days. And who knows…maybe I’ll win some evangelicals along the way.

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